


we can't win without them

by Kells



Series: AAUs for fun and flexibility [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: AAU, Alternate Universe, F/M, Female Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-03 12:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14568936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kells/pseuds/Kells
Summary: the one where Steph gets there just too late to follow her husband onto Schmidt's plane





	1. care is costly

When Steph reached the men in engineering, everything seemed to be going according to plan: Stark and his team were steadily gutting HYDRA’s machinery, remotely disabling most of Schmidt’s complement of missiles while US soldiers in black leather guarded the operation just as their HYDRA counterparts would have done if things were all as they appeared. For a moment Steph felt almost calm- then Stark met her eyes with a worried, guilty look and she realised that Bucky had done something stupid again. He would, wouldn’t he- she  _had_  left him on his own for more than twenty seconds. Steph closed her eyes briefly.

“Please tell me he’s not on the plane with Schmidt.”

Stark shrugged helplessly; Cohen nodded enthusiastically. Steph looked to Peggy for help.

“Didn’t you specifically say we were staying on the ground for this?”

Her friend looked as grim as Steph had ever seen her.

“Schmidt got started sooner than we expected. It’s all or nothing now- he can’t detonate anything remotely but he'll still be able to crash the whole kit and caboodle wherever he likes unless your husband stops him.”

“How's he planning to do that?”

“There’s this blue and glowing cube thing,” Stark offered, excited in spite of himself. “It’s some kind of power source- he just has to grab that and land the plane and we’re in the clear.”

“He _just_ has to grab some glowing thing and land a plane he doesn’t know how to fly. _While_ fighting Schmidt.”

Peggy looked deeply sorry and immensely fond.

“That's it exactly.”

“Okay.”

Steph smiled because the alternatives were worse. “Why not?”

It wasn’t really more far-fetched than anything else they’d asked of him yet. He was doing well, Stark reported in an apologetic tone- they were already well off Schmidt’s intended course.

“How exactly are we gonna get him back from-“  

“Boss,” Izzy Cohen interrupted in a low, nervous voice that sent a chill down Steph's spine. “I don’t like the look of these readings.”

Stark bent over the dashboard with his colleague, growling a denial as if he couldn’t help it, but just from his face Stephanie knew it wasn’t good news.

“Damn it, Barnes-“

His eyes slid sideways; he seemed to start visibly at the reminder that Peggy and Steph were still in the room. “Get me radio contact, now.”

Cohen did his best, muttering under his breath as he worked. Steph tried to stay as close as she could without getting in the way, clenching her hands for lack of anything concrete to contribute.

“Please,” she whispered, not entirely sure whether she meant it as a prayer or some kind of direct psychic appeal to her husband himself. “Please, please-“

Peggy caught her hand and clasped it tight. Moments later, Stark grabbed the microphone Cohen was holding out. He spoke with the manic energy of a man charging ahead down a path he couldn’t quite make out yet. 

“Come in, Captain Barnes. James, Bucky, come in, damn it.”

“Stark, how the-”

She couldn’t stifle a gasp of pure relief at the sound of his voice, tinny and distant but blessedly _there_ , and of course it distracted him completely. “Steph?”

“I’m here.”

“You okay, sweet girl?”

“She’s just fine,” Stark cut in, throwing Steph a remorseful look but taking charge nonetheless. “Can we take it you got Schmidt?”

“Something got Schmidt- not sure it was me.”

His tone was off for reasons that had nothing to do with the radio. Steph touched the engineer’s arm to get his attention, speaking into the microphone when he turned towards her.

“What’s wrong, a Shéamais?”  

There was a long, staticky pause.

“I really think I have to put this thing in the water, Steph.”  

“No!”

Peggy’s denial was immediate. “There must be another way.”

“There’s no time.”

Steph could _see_ him running a hand through his hair, frustrated. “There’re all these- I can’t tell for sure what’s already quit and what’s still going on but none of it’s good news for anyone.”

“Do it.”

Stark’s voice was firm. “Put her down. We’ll come get you.”

“What?”

That was all three of them, Steph thought; when something bit into her palms she glanced down reflexively and realised she was clenching her hands again. Stark shook his head.

“That damn serum will keep you going. We have your coordinates- all you have to do is sit tight, make sure nothing blows up, and we’ll be there before you know it. It’s the same plan as before, except wetter in parts.”

Bucky scoffed from miles away.

“You’ve been breathing exhaust again. I can’t just-”

“We’re gonna bring you home,” Stark insisted. The tightness in Steph’s chest eased a little in the face of his conviction. “My hand to God, ace.”

“You said you don’t believe in God, Stark.”

There was no malice in it. Howard’s answering smile was almost shy.

“You do, though.”

There was a brief, considering pause. Steph thought everyone in the room must be holding their breath.

“I’ll see you soon, then, huh.”

“Damn right.”

Stark shot to his feet, ready for action. “Listen, we have to-”

“Steph? Don’t go with him.”

Stephanie frowned.

“Bucky-”

“Stay with me. Please.”

She hadn’t thought of _that-_ if they cut contact now there was no guarantee they’d be able to get it again plane to plane.

“Of course.”

 Steph dropped quickly into the chair Cohen had vacated. “I’m here, a chéadsearc. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thanks.”

She glared at the console as if he could see her through it.

“Don’t _thank_ me.”

Howard squeezed her shoulder.

“You kids be good, now. We’ll see you before you know it, okay?”

“Steph,” her husband growled. “Tell that punk he’s only got five years on us, will you?”

“Tell him yourself,” Steph retorted, stroking the mic as if it were his hand. “He’ll be there in two ticks, you just wait.”

She had no idea how true that was- there was no telling how much difference a blue and glowing cube thing made to the speed of air travel. Steph suppressed a shudder as Bucky took a steadying breath somewhere over the arctic sea.

“You guys make that jump okay?”

For a moment she had no idea what he was talking about. Falsworth, she realised dimly- he’d left them already in position on his bike.

“Fine. He’s not as quick as you, is he, but they bought it.”

He gave a quiet chuckle that soothed Steph’s fraying nerves.

“Wish I could’ve seen their faces.”

There was something in his voice, though- he wasn’t breathing right, she thought.  

“You’re hurt.”

“It’s not so bad. He knocked me around a bit- wasn’t really any worse than last time.”

There should never have been a first time, Steph thought.

“I should’ve shot that bastard in his stupid red face the first time he ever looked at you.”

He laughed at that, startled and affectionate, maybe a little choked.

“You’re the whole reason I’ve ever done anything good in my life, you know that?”

The tightness in her chest was back, and it seemed to be spreading to her throat.

“Don’t you dare tell me goodbye, James Barnes.”

“I’m not. I’m just-“

He took a slow, shuddering breath that sounded like it hurt. “I’m glad you’re here, is all.”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be, Bucky.”

Except actually there, Steph wouldn’t say to him, where she could put her arms around him and hold on tight until she knew for sure that he’d be safe. Bucky gave another little chuckle.

“Sarah’s gonna be so mad that we just up an’ left like that.”

Apparently he’d got back to Brooklyn via places they would rather be. Steph smiled in spite of herself.

“She’ll forgive us when we tell her you saved the whole east coast.”

“You think?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

He hummed his agreement; they lapsed into silence. Steph gripped the microphone with both hands, eyes fixed on the bright dot that was her only confirmation that he was still in the air. Somewhere behind her, Peggy was doing whatever it was one had to do when a military base had already been secured and there was nothing for it but to wait and wonder.

“Steph?”

“I’m here.”

“I think I’m scared, a chroí.”

The tears she’d been fighting more or less since she’d realised what Bucky had done spilled hot and fast. Steph scrubbed violently at her face, grateful now that he _couldn’t_ see her.

“‘Course you’re scared.”  

By force of will alone she kept her voice light and teasing. “Anybody else’d’ve run a mile before you ever got near that plane to begin with.”

It wasn’t quite enough.

“It’s all ice out there. I don’t I can do it like he said.”

Steph shook her head. 

“Don’t worry about what he said. You just do what you can and let him figure out the rest, okay?”

“Steph-“

“You can do this, I promise.”

She had no business making promises like that, but she couldn’t let him lose his nerve. “I’m right here with you, Bucky, okay?”

“Okay.”

He took another deep breath. Steph closed her eyes with him and opened them when he spoke again. “Okay, I’m gonna-“

They heard him do _something-_ there was a mechanical whirr and thud followed by a truly awful metallic groan- before the signal cut out entirely. Steph kept her eyes glued to the dot that was no longer moving. Cohen’s hands moved frantically as he worked to re-establish contact.

“Got him,” he gasped, thrusting the mic he’d grabbed back at Steph. “I have it, here-”

“Bucky?”

She had no idea what she’d do if he didn’t answer. “You still with me, a thaisce?”

“Jus’ about.”

His voice was slurred, disoriented- even over the radio Steph knew he was in more pain than he would admit if she asked. “I love you. Don’t forget, okay?”

“Of course I won’t. What’s going on over there?”                     

“‘s all goin’ dark- think ‘m gonna lose you in a seco-”

His voice dissolved into static. Peggy’s hand on Steph’s shoulder made her jump.

“Cohen-“

“Working on it.”

He was working on it, and he kept working on it, but even as Steph watched with all her attention the light that had signalled the plane's position faded completely.

“James,” she rasped helplessly as Cohen gave up pretending like there was any hope of raising him again. “Bucky, you stupid-”

Peggy hugged her fiercely just as her voice gave out.

“He’ll be fine. They’re halfway there already.”

He wasn't fine at all, though- he was alone and hurting, and if Steph had learnt one thing in her time with the Commandos it was that there were more ways to lose one precious thing than she even knew how to count.    

“I should have-“

Gone with him, stayed with him, tied him down with string so he couldn’t go in the first place. “Christ, I never even-”

He would never have complained- of course he’d say he knew already- but if it had been the other way around he’d have made sure it was the only thing she heard from the first moment they knew how it was going to end.

“Don’t, love.”

Steph shuddered violently- even _Peggy_ knew how to say the words when they were needed. She should stop crying, she thought; she hadn’t done anything to deserve either catharsis or comfort. Peggy only held her closer, tone bright with false confidence. “Stephanie, I promise they’re going to bring him home.”  

They would, as well. Steph hid her face in her friend’s stiff uniform jacket and tried not to wonder whether it would be on a stretcher or in a wooden box.  


	2. ready for anything- thanks to you

Their friends filtered in over the course of several hours Steph would only ever recall in snatches- Gabe hugging her, Dernier pressing someone else’s rosary into her hands without a word, Peggy stepping out to take a call as Morita dealt the guys into a game of cards designed specifically to last exactly long enough to make sure they were all together when Phillips finally showed up. 

“Agent Barnes?”

The Howling Commandos stilled to a man.

“Don’t,” Steph whispered, fighting the urge to flinch away from the bracing kindness in the colonel’s tone. “Just say it, you don’t have to-”

“Stark’s got him,” the colonel interrupted, grasping her elbow as if to reassure her that he was really there, saying what she hadn’t dared to hope he would. “Cohen’s been in touch- it was touch and go for a while but they’re saying he’ll be good as new in time.”

At first Steph wasn’t sure she’d understood- but the men around her raised a triumphant shout as Peggy caught her in a warm, relieved embrace.    

When her chest began to burn Steph realised she hadn’t taken a breath since she’d got the news. She gave a ragged gasp, leaning into Peggy’s arms as Phillips went on- he said something about a plane, and something else about a field hospital, and _someone_ said something about an honourable discharge- but Steph found it hard to pay attention to much more than the single, staggering fact that her husband was, somehow, still out there waiting for her.

“We’re coming too,” Dugan announced, heaving himself to his feet; apparently they were moving. Colonel Phillips shrugged more casually than Steph had thought he was allowed to.

“Why the hell not?”

When they touched down on some distant runway Howard was waiting to meet them, looking so worn out that Steph found herself forgetting how to work her lungs again- but when their eyes met he smiled, wide and relieved, and waved at her with real exuberance.

“There she is! He’s on the mend, I promise.”

Phillips had said that too; they seemed less eager to say what needed mending.

“Tell me.”

She smacked Stark’s arm when his gaze flicked left. “He’s _my_ huband, you don’t need anyone’s permission.”

The engineer raised both hands in surrender. Bucky had wrecked his shoulder, he reported, scowling at the floor as though he blamed it personally, and taken a whack to the face which even half-frozen he’d made them promise to tell his wife was less dire than it looked, but otherwise most of his injuries were from being out in the cold for so long. They’d found him mostly conscious, in good enough spirits to rib the guys for taking their own sweet time showing up, but even in the original German plan Erskine’s super soldiers had never been meant to spend much time in the arctic wearing only standard field gear. Steph swallowed hard.

“How’d you know you had time to get there?”

She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what kind of test the SSR had devised to measure that, but Stark only shrugged.

“I guess I- had faith, you know? For once.”

He laughed softly, mostly to himself. “Don’t tell my old man I said that.”

Sometimes Steph forgot their benefactor wasn’t even Gary’s age. She leaned up impulsively and kissed his cheek before he thought to duck away.

“Thank you.”

Howard Stark smiled at her without any of the showman’s glitz which was all she’d known of him before the night that had turned all their lives around.

“Any time, Mrs Barnes. Here we go.”

He turned sharply, deftly guiding her through a door she hadn’t even been aware of. “Special delivery for Captain America!”

He left them with barely more than a wave and a grin in the direction of the hospital cot on the other side of the room.

“Steph!”

Bucky lurched forward only to fall back with a choked-off yelp. It hardly delayed their reunion- Steph was already clambering up to crouch over her husband with his blanketed legs between her knees.   

“I love you. I love you _._ I love you.”

She kissed him as fiercely as she dared, her shaking hands twisting in his half-buttoned shirt. “I should have said it. I don’t know why I didn’t.”

It had been preying on her conscience every second since they’d lost contact, but Bucky only smiled. He cupped her cheek with his less injured hand.

“I knew it anyway, a chroí.”

His voice was rough, his cheeks still chapped from being out in the freezing cold. Steph choked, caught between laughter and tears.

“I _knew_ you were gonna say that.”

“So we’re all good, right?”

His fingers drifted along her neck and down her back as if he, too, felt the need to make sure she was really there. “Come lay down, Steph.”

It was a struggle to let go of him, even just long enough to scramble under the covers and plaster herself to his side.

“See,” Bucky murmured when she had managed it, sounding faintly smug. “This’s so much better.”

That was a low bar even for them. Steph let her free hand ghost over the cruel bruising which meant he had managed to break his cheekbone somewhere along the way.

“You really think this is “not so bad”?”

He shook his head, nuzzling her neck.

“It wasn’t Schmidt. That’s from when I hit the-”

He cut himself off when she flinched. “Sorry! I didn’t mean-”

“Hush.”

Steph caught his near hand, careful of his injuries, and kissed his still-bruised knuckles. “It’s not your fault. Of course you can tell me.”

Her husband bit his poor chapped lip, looking for the words.

“I was trying to get to that cube thing, right, like the eggheads said?”

She nodded; he nodded too. “I nearly made it, only when he realised what I wanted he grabbed it right out of the whatever it was- some kind of casing, I mean- so I couldn’t get there first. And it just-“

Bucky shrugged helplessly.

“Ate him, or something. He started glowing, and then he started screaming, and then he was- just- gone.”

It should have sounded crazy, but Steph had been right there when Schmidt had peeled his own face off to make a point. She tucked herself closer, tangling her legs with her husband's.

“It didn’t try that on you, though.”

He shook his head, still visibly disturbed.

“I never got that close. After he disappeared it- melted through the floor, I guess? Don’t ask me how. Stark says they found it on their way to me, apparently some poor sap’s gonna have to go back and get it later.”

“They found it ‘on their way’to- were you flying that thing without a power source?”

His expression was wry; he squeezed her hand as he answered.

“I wouldn’t say flying, exactly.”

Stark had known, Steph realised- he’d said ‘put it down’ rather than ‘land it’- and Bucky hadn’t been at all confident about any part of their plan.

“You put it _in the water_ with _holes melted in the floor_.”

She remembered, all too vividly, the way his voice had been shaking. “ _You_ were in the water. In the _arctic._ ”

Her husband kissed her neck.

“I got out, though.”

Only just, Steph knew- she’d seen Stark’s face as he thought about how close they’d cut it.  

“You could have died.”

Her voice shook. “You _would_ have died.”

Any other man would have had no chance against Schmidt, let alone the rest of it. Bucky shrugged helplessly.

“Listen, if there’d been another way-”

“I know.”

The way he meant it, she’d known it all her life. Bucky’s fingers brushed her cheek.

“Don’t cry, sweet girl.”

“Shut up,” Steph muttered, but snuggled up to him and smiled when he kissed her temple like he just couldn’t help himself. “My stupid husband nearly got killed nine different ways, I’ll cry if I want to.”

His huff of laughter ruffled her hair.

“Fair enough.”

Steph pressed her lips to his near shoulder.

“Poor Bucky.”

She stroked the hand that had come to rest over her hip. “They _should_ call you Captain America after this.”  

He raised his head to watch her face with troubled eyes.   

“I was scared stiff for most of it, though.”

Steph didn’t think that was the point at all.

“You still did it, didn’t you?”

She would never forget his voice, frightened and fading and so far out of reach when he needed her most. “I wish I’d been with you.”

“Thank God you weren’t.”

His voice had hardened- he was tensing up at the thought of it, too. Steph caught his face in cautious hands and kissed her husband before he found a new way to hurt himself.

“Don’t. I’m just fine, okay?”

She smoothed down his hair, which was sticking up in all directions because they’d had more to think about than finding him a comb. “Bucky, the whole east coast is fine because of you.”

He surprised her by laughing out loud, dropping forward so he was chuckling quietly almost against her neck.  

“Would you believe that’s not even the craziest thing I’ve heard today?”

Steph had no choice but to giggle with him, stroking his hair as he hung onto her.

“Thank God your Howard’s just as bad as you. Pair of jerks, too damn stubborn to quit before you have to do something completely nuts.”

Her husband kissed her jaw.

“Says _you,_ Steph Rogers.”

He kissed her again before she could object. “Barnes, I mean.”

She petted his hair appreciatively.

“There’s just one thing I can’t figure out.”

When she raised her head, concerned, it was to find her husband smirking at her with mischief in his eyes. “How’re we gonna get back to New York if we can’t take a plane _or_ a train- do we just live here now?”

Steph couldn’t help laughing. The iron bands that had been tightening around her chest since she’d realised what he’d had to do loosened and fell away as she shoved at his good shoulder, just gently, and then caught him close again.

“Stupid husband,” she muttered into his shirt. “God knows where ‘here’ is, even.”  

“Kemerovo,” Peggy offered, crossing the room to touch Bucky’s cheek with almost maternal affection. “Captain- you look well, considering.”

“One day she’ll remember I have a Christian name,” Bucky murmured, still stroking Steph’s hair like they were on their own at home. He grinned at the others as the Commandos spilled in, boisterous and beaming but also a little shy, somehow, in the confined quiet of the recovery room. “You guys all good?”

As they gave him their assurances, Steph found her eyes drawn to Howard Stark, smiling softly but hovering in the doorway like he wasn’t entirely sure he’d be welcome. She nudged her husband gently, claiming his attention.

“I guess we can take a plane _some_ times as long as it’s your Howard in charge of it.”

Bucky looked up eagerly, following her gaze- they grinned at each other like little kids at Christmas. Confidence restored, Stark doffed an imaginary cap as he swept a graceful, gloating bow.

“You heard it here, folks! Captain America travels Stark Air or not at all.”

As Bucky muttered something rebellious about that damn nickname, Peggy made a show of glowering at Stephanie.

“He’s going to be even more insufferable now, I hope you know.”

Howard winked at her over Peggy’s shoulder.

“She loves me really.”

Bucky looked so perfectly, guilelessly hopeful on his friend’s behalf that Steph had very little choice but to kiss him again. He blinked at her from inches away, sweetly confused and utterly trusting.   

“What was that for?”

“Just.”

He was still so tired, and still in so much pain. Steph tugged her husband back down to lie more comfortably against the pillows Howard had almost certainly brought with him- they seemed way too comfortable to be army-issued. “Rest, my honey.”

She could _see_ him worrying about all the work they still had to do, but leaned up to kiss him softly before he could put it into words.

“Later,” she murmured, not least because for the first time in a long time it felt like they might actually _have_ a later they could count on. Somehow that was enough for him, too- Bucky tugged her closer, kissed her hair, and shut his eyes obediently. Their guys were settling in around them- Morita had his cards out again, and Dugan had gone so far as to set his hat down by Gabe’s politely discarded handguns. As Stark and Carter bickered in low voices, Steph leaned into her husband’s side so she could steal his blankets and keep him safe both at once. “We’ll fix the rest of it later, Bucky, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> I've had notes for this since I first wrote the long-form one- reviving it now in part because MCU has so messed with continuity that I'm not totally sure what to do with don't dally with the devil and partly because I quite like the idea of doing Agent Carter-era vignettes with these two plus Howard, Peggy and the Howling Commandos.  
> how mad will people be if Tony is Peggy's son in this version? ?


End file.
